Wish your life was MORE COMFORTABLE? Click here for the solution!

We spend much of our time trying to make our lives easier. From diet pills that allow you to eat any way you want and get thinner, to couches with built-in drinks coolers so you don't have to get up and walk to the fridge and disturb your 'veg-session' in front of the TV - we are involved in the constant pursuit of ease and comfort. We manage to succeed too. Most of the people who read this live comfortable enough lives that they are able to own a computer and/or tablet and a smart phone, are able to access the internet - probably from somewhere pretty comfortable, and are either doing a job that is comfortable enough to support their financial needs or are currently studying to get said job one day.

unfortunately building comfort into every facet of our lives may be the biggest mistake we have made

I've been thinking a lot about how to live the life I dream of. Not one where I get to watch more TV, eat more junk food and generally have a holiday for the rest of time, but a life that will one day count for something that lasts longer than I do. The problem is, every time I start dreaming of how I could get started, a fear comes over me. My brain says "But life is so great right now... You are comfortable... this is what everybody else wants! Why change this? Just settle down and stop dreaming." 

we have been conditioned to get comfortable, and then wait to die without making too many waves

Society likes people who fit in. It promotes people who are good but not different, and rejects people whose talents and pursuits demand that we THINK AND RESPOND. I don't want to get all airy-fairy about this, but I do believe that this is a convenient and intentional construct of the powers-that-be (government etc) to keep society-at-large contained and control the dissemination of ideas - all under the guise of making our lives more comfortable, and thus BETTER... because comfortable is better right?

the problem is, I can't think of anyone who left a legacy by living a comfortable life

Apart from the guy who invented the Lazy-Boy chair, all of the people in history who have left a legacy that is still respected today have chosen at some point in their stories that they would be OK with a bit of - and many times a lot of - discomfort in order to realise the potential they could see in them and around them. The greatest of these people never settle down to a comfortable life. Even after making a huge difference and sometimes lots of money these people continue to choose to be different, uncomfortable and on-the-move in a world that is standing still. These individuals seem to know that to settle down and get comfy is to begin to die, so they press-on.

how to get uncomfortable

Getting uncomfortable is easy... We get faced with choices all the time. We choose the easy option all the time. The thing is, it's easy to choose to stay home and watch DVD's on a Friday night, but how does that make any sense when the other option is to spend time with great people? It's easy to stay in bed for an extra hour, but how will you ever get healthy if you don't go to gym? Wanna get uncomfortable? Start choosing differently in these small things - then start dreaming. 

Many of us have allowed life to fall into place around us instead of being actively involved in who/where/what/how we choose to be. Each of us has the power to control a lot of our own situation. I think we need to take the reins. I think we need to go back. Back to when we allowed ourselves to dream, when anything was possible. Start there, and get moving.  

So I promised you a solution - here it is... STOP wishing for more comfort, and start dreaming of living life that leaves something behind

The Truth (about yourself) Will Set You Free

It's an interesting thing, but there seems to be a glaring disparity for many people between how we think about ourselves, and how others perceive us and our abilities. 

Narcissists aside, I think most people have very little self-belief 

Even in areas where it's obvious to everyone around them that they are very gifted. In areas like personality traits, relationships and creative/work endeavours we seem to give ourselves too little credit for who we are and what we can do.

On the face of it this seems like a good thing - humility is a highly desirable trait and sorely lacking in society today. The thing is, self-deprecation is not humility. When we constantly devalue our own gifts, abilities and character we only dig ourselves deeper into a hole of poor self-worth which doesn't help anyone.

I have a friend who believes he can do anything

And he has done some pretty cool stuff - stuff that takes effort and skill - purely based on the fact that he knows he can if he wants to. I suspect that in his case, his parents got him to believe that he was able to achieve great things when he was a kid and it stuck.

The great bassplayer Victor Wooten is widely regarded as a 'freak-of-nature'

He began playing music professionally when he was around 6 years old! He attributes his self-belief to the fact that his older brothers told him that what he saw on cartoons when he was a little boy - like superheroes flying etc - could be achieved by him if he just believed in himself and worked hard.  

Those who believe, achieve 

All through every pursuit in life we see that the people who 'make-it' are the ones who believe that they are capable, and can achieve what they dream about.

Why then do we seem to ignore this, and instead choose to focus on our own negative self-talk? I think we like to believe we aren't that great so that if things don't work out for us we can say “I knew it! All my friends were so wrong about me! I really did suck!”

But would it be better to turn that on its head and say the same thing when you succeed instead? 'I knew it! All those discouraging people were wrong about me!'

Anyway, let me get practical for a minute.

Some tips on getting positive and believing in yourself:

1. Protect yourself from the negative people. 

They will always be there trying to pull you down to their level because they don't have the guts to try to climb up to yours.

How do you protect yourself? Choose the people you call your friends very carefully. Once you have chosen 'friends', choose the ones who encourage you the most and ONLY SHARE YOUR SPECIFIC DREAMS AND PLANS WITH THEM. Sharing your dreams with negative or jealous people will only get you a lot of free criticism and doubt.

2. Believe what people who you respect say about you. 

There are many people out there who think you are, and can be, truly great. CHOOSE to believe them. Then start to say those things to yourself.

3. Realise that every person who has done something amazing is the same as you. 

We often think that people we admire are special in some way, however reality says we are all the same - flesh and blood. What makes the ones who achieve special? They DID something they were passionate about and cared enough to complete it regardless of what people said about it.

4. Remember that there's a difference between humility and self-deprecation. 

You CAN be humble and believe in the truth that you are great at something at the same time.

This world needs more people of action. People who think they are rubbish don't usually do much for anyone. Let the truth about yourself set you free to ACT!

Take care
Andrew

Know your role... it's about respect

Hey everybody!

Greetings from a COLD Port Elizabeth, South Africa.

This weekend I went on an out-of-town trip to do a gig with a jazz trio that I work with (John Edwards on piano, Devon van Rooyen on drums, and me on bass). We have been preparing some new tunes lately - many of which are quite challenging... and FUN!!!

In the process of learning one of the new songs ('Django') we encountered a situation that deserves some reflection. Two of the four sections of this tune's solo form are pretty traditional 'swing' sections which require walking bass parts as accompaniment. At one point in my line I chose to hit a Bb on the first beat of a bar containing an Eb chord since it's the 5 of the chord and leads to the Ab chord in the next bar nicely. Whether you understand that or not, the issue is that it's not wrong, it was one of the many right notes I could have played as part of my line. When we got to the end of the solo John stopped and said: 'Andrew, would you mind playing the root (Eb) at the beginning of that bar? The note you chose threw me a little.' My response was: 'Sure. No problem.'

John has many years' experience in the jazz scene and has worked with many musicians. We were talking a little while after the jam, and he thanked me for my response in that situation. He said that he has worked with other musicians with whom the conversation would have gone more like this:

John: '(Musician X), would you mind playing the root (Eb) at the beginning of that bar? The note you chose threw me a little.'
Musician X: 'I played a Bb man. It's totally right. It's the 5th.'
John: 'I feel like I need to hear the Eb to express myself the way I want to in my solo.'
Musician X: 'Dude, it's not YOUR gig. I can play any note I want in my line. This is JAZZ. It belongs to everyone equally.'
John: (getting annoyed) 'Well this is called the John Edwards Trio...'

And from there the whole thing gets nasty.

Now, as much as it may be everybody's gig, and I agree that the music belongs to everyone, I do think that each musician has a role to play and those roles are very closely linked to our what should be concepts taken from how we live life. In the situation above my role is to support John's solo by providing what he wants as a foundation for expressing the ideas he is trying to express. I don't do it because I play bass so I HAVE TO be the support instrument. I do it because he is my friend and I respect him as a musician and want him to feel comfortable when he plays. I also do it because I know that when I solo he is going to try to support me as best as he can.

I have found that music that is played from this point of mutual respect is always great music... if I respect you I will listen when you speak, I will try to catch you if you 'fall', I'll share my ideas with you, I'll consider your preferences and my own, and I'll try my hardest to make you sound/look good to others.

How could life lived with this attitude not be great life?

BTW the gig was amazing! We played to a sold out venue in a beautiful setting, and a highly appreciative audience... and I played the Eb that John wanted to hear :)

Take care
Andrew

When you wish upon a star...

Hi! It's been ages.

So I heard someone say this earlier today: 'Spending all that time wishing I was different was preventing me from getting to what I was actually meant to be.'

WOW! What a thought! How often in music do we sit for ages listening to others and wish that we could play the way they do?

The listening and admiration are not problems - in fact they are part of every musician's process - but what usually happens is that we listen, wish, and then either get discouraged because of the gaping divide between their music and ours, or we simply forget about it and go on with our daily lives unchanged.

I think the central problem is that 'wishing' requires no action... No 'output' after the 'input'. Wishing allows one to take it all in and then walk away. The attitude that we need to adopt is one of WANTING. You see, a wish has a dream-like quality that puts it in the realm of the impossible, where all a want requires is a way of getting the object of our desire - and we all love getting stuff! This leads to a process of observation, followed by inspiration, followed by ACTION. So I observe something that I want, this inspires me, and the inspiration causes me to ACT to get it - to get one baby-step further across the great divide that separates me from what I want or where I want to be.

The process may be long and require effort, but isn't it worthwhile to know that instead of dreaming something you are actually moving toward it?

I think so!

So when you wish upon a star... it DOES make a difference who you are... because any dream your heart desires has to be ACTED-UPON if you really want to make it happen, and only certain people (usually the minority) actually do that.

PS... this is not just a music issue, it's a LIFE issue, and who you are in music is who you are in life.

Take care
Andrew

The journey to 'greatness' starts with this...

One of my favourite music educators (and bassists) Anthony Wellington wrote a post called 'The Mechanism of Working'.

It's a MUST-READ for ANYONE who ever wants to achieve anything substantial in ANY FIELD.

Take care

Andrew

Why do you keep doing it?

Where does your inspiration to 'keep going' come from? Why do you practice your instrument every day? What makes you love music?

The answers to these questions are different for everyone, and everyone NEEDS to answer them. If you do, you will never have a reason to be discouraged or negative for very long, because whenever you feel like that (and you will at some stage) you can go back to the things that make you happy and get your purpose back.

I have certain songs that just plain make me smile... and some that make me laugh with enjoyment. I listened to something today and couldn't help shouting out because the MUSIC was so happening that I had to acknowledge it, and my LOVE for music. I am still feeling energized by that one song... Four minutes of music has changed me for hours... It made me want to PLAY - like a little kid with his toys. Pure enjoyment and no effort or work involved.

That is why I keep doing it...  

What makes a GREAT teacher?

A good friend of mine (who just happens to be a great musician too) was talking to someone who had taken piano lessons at school but had stopped since for various reasons. My friend began to encourage her to start again (because musicians can't imagine life without music). One of the things he said to her was: 'Find a great teacher... one who loves you as a person and who is sympathetic'.

Wow, did that floor me! I suddenly realised that THAT was it! A great teacher is one who CARES about his students as human-beings first, and teaches whatever craft is to be learned from that point-of-view.

All of the great teachers in history - the ones whose lessons have stayed with us for centuries and millennia - had that approach in common. They did not just care about the material, they cared for the people they were touching with the material.

Music teachers, let's all try to be that way...